It’s no secret that people with high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem believe in their-selves and their abilities and are more willing to take on new challenges. This also reflects in their personality, they have a certain aura about them that others find appealing. Others may think that these people are naturally gifted or have infinite levels of intelligence that helps them to be more successful in everything they do.
The truth is this is WRONG! There are lots of people who’re gifted at certain things who’ve yet to realize this potential. Why? Simply because they lack the self-confidence to see it through with conviction. They naturally assume they aren’t talented enough, not smart enough, to old, to young, whatever the reason it’s not a real reflection of their potential.
Do you remember Susan Boyle from the X-Factor singing competition?
For years there was hidden talent that most hadn’t heard in a long time. She didn’t fit the typical stereo-type of how we imagine a “pop star” to be (shame on the music industry for selling “looks” over “talent”)! Therefore she kept this talent under lock and key for fear of being rejected, mocked or even humiliated maybe. But what happened when she did get just enough confidence to appear on stage on national TV for a singing competition?
A super star was born. The audience jumped out of their seats in collaboration at this middle-aged woman who admittedly looked scruffy and rough around the edges. However that didn’t detract from the fact this woman could sing and sing very well. What would have happened if she never found the confidence, courage and self belief to stand on stage and sing that night? Simple, she would have carried on singing on the occasional karaoke night for fun. NEVER to reveal to the world her truest potential.
Remember that story and use it for inspiration as you move forwards in your quest to improve your self-confidence.
The 3 biggest Myths about Improving self-confidence:
People are born with self-confidence
Although some will be naturally more confident than others, especially throughout adulthood, the truth is you’re not born with high levels of self-confidence. The experiences you encounter throughout life from the day you’re born to the present-day determine how confident you are as a person. Therefore it stands to reason that you can learn to improve self confidence!
Appraisal improves/ damages self-confidence
Whilst there is some truth here as a child who is constantly encouraged by their piers and appraised will develop higher levels of confidence it’s not the do all end all. Getting recognition for doing well will help you feel good about yourself but is NOT directly proportional to how confident you are as a person.
Relying on recognition and appraisal from others is not a good plan of action for boosting self-confidence! You’ll become victim to the “I’m unlucky” or “I’m no good” mentality which will only damage your efforts for improving self-confidence. Earning people’s respect is important but you shouldn’t rely on appraisal and recognition from others, you’re no less inferior to them, it’s just your belief and how you’re evaluating yourself.
Only confident people take risks
This again is completely wrong! You don’t think there are some highly successful people who were doubtful and lacked confidence in their abilities before reaching their success?
The only difference is they pushed through the barriers, they learned to eliminate the self-destructive thoughts that hold so many people back. People worry too much about “failing” but what exactly is failure? Failure is an essential stepping stone on the path to success in whatever you do. It helps you learn from your mistakes in order to get it right next time.
Confident and successful people understand this one truth and see failing as a good thing, this is what helps them take risks that others may not. Whenever faced with new challenges that you’re unsure of ask yourself; what’s the worst that can happen? Is it really that bad? More often than not you’ll realize your mind is your own worst enemy and that the “risk assessment” indicates it isn’t actually that bad at all to get it wrong.