I had divorced in the mid 90’s and had elected to devote my energy to the raising of my two kids. As they entered High School I began to realize that the subjects of my devotion were about to leave the nest and I would be left alone. At this thought I began to explore online dating.
I quickly discovered that I had to utilize my God given gift of discernment to “read between the lines” of some of the “less the honest” profiles.
I developed some “key” questions that were very relevant to what I wanted in a relationship and would pointedly ask them. Depending on their answer I would make a decision to take our communication to the next level. I had crafted a second set of questions designed to help me “read between the lines” at this level. This was done to weed out the Poser’s or married people pretending to be single etc. For me personally, Church and their relationship with God was a very important factor. One of the key questions I asked was: How do you serve in your Church? For me, if their answer was “I don’t” then they were automatically weeded out. Another key question was: How do you feel about pre-marital sex?
I will admit that I was taken in by a couple of different guys but eventually my questions made the come clean. In the area of the heart you need to design your questions beforehand and commit to the self-discipline arena of sticking to the questions no matter what your heart is feeling.
I choose the venue of LatinAmericanCupid.com for my online dating and found it to be extremely thorough. While the beginning questionnaire was over 200 questions (some questions asked over and over in several different ways). You have to remember that the person you meet will have had to fill out the same lengthy questionnaire as you did. While this particular questionnaire is designed to do some of the initial “weeding out” for you, you still must have your own plan in place and do your own weeding.
I had actually “tried” LatinAmericanCupid.com a couple of different times and had met several great guys from there. I had dated several and listened to their horror stories of their experiences with online dating. From this I was able to write my own list of qualifying questions with more clarity.
When I connected with who is now my husband, I almost “wrote him off” as I misread one of his replies to one of my questions. I caution you to read and reread all replies so you don’t “throw out the baby with the bathwater”!
Once we began the “Open Communication” portion of the online dating experience it was fast and furious. We started this process near the end of July of that year, and agreed on a lunch date half way between our cities (we lived over 100 miles apart). We met for lunch (that is a whole other story unto itself!) and it was “Love at First Site”. Don’t let anyone tell you “Love at first site” is only in the movies… I was 49 years old and it happened to me!
The next day after our lunch he called and announced that he was on his way for another impromptu date. I was volunteering at the time in a city about 15 miles from my home and had ridden to the establishment with someone else. What I was volunteering for was a somewhat dirty job and I had donned old clothes and didn’t apply any makeup before starting off that morning. Here I was stuck in old clothes, no makeup and no transportation to change any of that. I had resigned myself to our second date being our last date. Even though I knew what I had felt upon our initial date, I had no way of knowing that he had felt the very same thing.
My date showed up at the place where I was volunteering and didn’t turn around and high tail it so I took this as a good sign. He took me home, I changed and we went to dinner. By that evening he had asked me to marry him and I said yes and we were married 6 months later.
We have now been married for 2 1/2 years and each day keeps getting better and better! I would recommend that you check out several free online dating services that can offer you a free trial membership and get you on your way to finding your soul mate. Good Luck!